🇬🇧 27 toxic references of love

Many things that some of us grew up believing to be love, because we saw examples of “love” in our family, in movies, on TV, in music, etc., are toxic, disrespectful behaviors that do not foster a healthy relationship. This is probably why the divorce rate is high and the number of people from the new generations who are not interested in getting married is also considerable. But no one needs to live as a slave to these limiting beliefs.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist and in this blog I talk about art, what inspires me, what makes me reflect and who I am. I practice ethical polyamory, so when I talk about love, I am not limiting myself to the love of romantic relationships, I am talking about all types of love, because for me there is only one type of love, and what differentiates a friend from a boyfriend are other things, which include sexual attraction, but are not limited to it.

Below are 27 toxic references of love that may be preventing you from having an authentic and satisfying life.

1. Feelings of possession are not love. Many people raise their children as objects, usually seeking only to be obeyed and satisfied by their children, and so the children grow up thinking that treating others as objects is a sign of love. It is not.
2. Frequent fights are not signs of love. They are usually signs of incompatibility. Again, it is a false reference to love that may come from the way the person was raised by abusive parents. 
3. Avoiding disagreeing with the other is not a sign of love. It is a lack of self-love.
4. Excessive control of the other, of what they do, with whom, what they wear, etc. is not love. It is a feeling of possession.
5. Not knowing how to imagine your life without the other is not love. It is emotional dependence, low self-esteem, rejection trauma, among other possible causes.
6. Lack of privacy (such as wanting to know the other's passwords or sharing yours) is not love.
7. When the other distances you from your friendships or interferes in your friendships is not a sign of love. Wanting to distance the other from their friendships or interfere in their friendships is not either.
8. Keeping you from your hobbies is not love. Wanting to keep the other person away from their hobbies is also not love.
9. Wanting to define what is best for the other person is not love. It is a variation of the feeling of possession.
10. Thinking that you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy is a sign that you do not know what love is and do not have self-love.
11. Not offering support to your partner when you know that he/she is having problems is not love, it is neglect. The same goes for when the person having problems is a friend. You cannot consider yourself someone's friend if you are not capable of supporting them in times of difficulty. Wanting the person around only when they are well is a form of objectification.
12. Not talking about your problems to your partner is not love. Read the topic above and, if you have reasons not to tell them, you also have reasons not to be in a relationship with that person anymore.
13. Getting into a relationship with someone without having in mind what you want for the future, for the relationship, without evaluating whether that person fits your vision of the future, your compatibilities and incompatibilities, is not love. This applies to all types of relationships, including friendships.
14. Starting a relationship without a clear vision of your goals, expectations, limits, etc. is not love.
15. Neglecting yourself to please the other person is not love, even though a healthy relationship has room for each person to develop, change, grow, and adopt new habits. Knowing the limit between sacrificing yourself and seeking to expand your repertoire is essential.
16. Psychological abuse (swearing, humiliation, threats, etc.) is not love. In the context of consensual BDSM, this is valid. Outside of that, it is not.
17. Financial abuse (controlling the other person's finances and assets) is not love.
18. Physical violence or the use of physical force to control the other person or interfere in the other person's relationships is not love.
19. Negligence is not love.
20. Disrespecting the other person's boundaries is not love. Boundaries should be respected even when you do not love the other person. Disrespecting boundaries is a sign of a lack of character.
21. Playing emotional games is not love.
22. Saying no when you mean yes and vice versa is not love or a sign of interest. It is a sign of immaturity.
23. Having no boundaries is not love, it is immaturity, low self-esteem and desperation.
24. Caring about the age difference in a relationship between adults is not love. Age is not relevant in a relationship between adults. Age is not synonymous with emotional maturity. Emotional maturity requires effort. Age only requires watching time pass.
25. Thinking that whoever has more money in the relationship, even temporarily, owns the other person and has the right to control or humiliate them is not love.
26. Meddling in someone else's life to "help", without asking if the person wants that kind of help, is not love. This includes things like trying to force the person to get close to someone they hate, or trying to get the person a job without knowing if they want that kind of job, for example.
27. Putting a hierarchy on love is an outdated belief. Thinking that a boyfriend or girlfriend is more important than friends (or vice versa) is a mistaken view of love, from someone who has never experienced it and just follows what others say, without thinking.

Follow my profiles on social media for more content about art, personal development and other topics that inspire me.

I would be immensely happy if you purchase my artwork (see the "Art available here" page) and/or if you can offer financial support for me to carry out new artistic projects (see the "Maecenasship" page). To order an exclusive artwork or photo shoot, see the services page.

Respect copyright. Reproduction of this text in whole or in part without specific written permission from the author is prohibited.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 Photography of pet products

In this post, I will talk a little about photography and video of pet products. The content is useful for brands of these products as well as for pet shops and retailers in general.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist with a focus on photography. I have a degree in advertising, an MBA in marketing and have always been a pet mom. I have had dogs since I was a baby and cats since 2011, in addition to a multitude of other pets that I had as a child. Of these others, horses are my favourite, without a doubt. For reasons of disgust, I do not photograph snakes, lizards and other pets that are a bit too exotic for my taste.

All of my services are personalised, so the information below is a guide to give you an idea of ​​how it works. If you want something different, we can check the feasibility of what you want during the briefing meeting. Almost anything is possible if you have enough budget. Some things will not be done even with enough budget. I value respect for animals and respect for my work. It is common for pet product brands to emphasise the product, but from a marketing perspective, this view is a way of commoditising the product and making the consumer think it is worth little. There are ways to create richer experiences for the consumer, which make your products have a perception of greater value and greater benefit compared to competitors. Obviously, I will not tell you how to do this here. If you want to know, request the service and we will discuss the best options for your company.

How does it work?

You visit the services page on this blog, request the service and then we will schedule the briefing meeting. I gather the information to develop the photographic concept (which may or may not include videos), calculate the budget for execution and send it to the company. I usually offer two or three budget options. They also provide for the period in which the company can use the images and fines for non-compliance with the contract.

The briefing meeting may include leaders from your company and the advertising agency, but I don’t work solely to follow a creative plan developed by others. That would be a waste of my skills. We can plan together with a coherent strategy, but I insist on being part of the creative planning of the photos.

After choosing the ideal budget for the company, signing the final contract and paying any additional amounts required, the pre-production work of the photos begins, seeking the resources needed for the photo shoot, such as booking a location, purchasing or renting costumes, hiring models, etc.

The next step is to take the photos. Then comes the editing and delivery.

In general, that's it. Now, if you want your business to be successful, be smart and go beyond the ordinary by hiring the services of Nycka Nunes. The services are available to clients from all over the world.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 Interview with Nycka Nunes - Part 1

Where did you grow up? Did that influence how you became the artist you are nowadays?

I was born in Montes Claros - MG (Brazil), a city with about three hundred thousand inhabitants at the time, and with a small-town feel, because wherever I went in the city there were always people who knew my family. I lived there until I was 22, when I moved to Uberlândia.

I have always liked art and my experiences in my hometown certainly have an impact on my work.

My father was a farmer, and on the farm I felt free, I could be myself. I have very fond memories of how I felt in contact with nature, which was a huge contrast to how I felt in the city, living with my maternal family who never showed me any love, never complimented me, never gave me emotional support in difficult situations. What attracts me to big cities is art. Other than that, I prefer contact with nature.

When I started planning this new career I visualised myself photographing nude or semi-nude people in contact with nature. Then these images began to develop in my head, becoming more complex, and when I realised this complexity, I lost my fear of dedicating myself fully to art. When I realised that my desire to leave fashion behind was a desire to leave behind all the suffering of my childhood and adolescence and to eliminate abusive relationships from my life, there was no turning back. Now I am happy working on some projects and looking for sponsors to carry them out. During the period of career transition, I made some decisions that impact the way I work, aiming to create, in this new career, a better, healthier, more prosperous and sustainable reality than the reality I created working as a stylist.

When did you start taking pictures?

I was already over 18 years old when I got my first camera. I don't remember exactly when it was, but it was an analog compact camera that I used to do academic photography work during my advertising course. My professor praised my academic work a lot, my perspective on the subjects I photographed. Before university, I used it very little. Analog photography doesn't appeal to me because we don't see the results immediately and mistakes can happen that can ruin even great photos. Then I had another one, a compact digital camera, when I was about 32 years old, which stopped working properly after falling on the street during a travel writing course I was taking. In 2011, I bought my first DSLR camera, and my first photos with it were at the two biggest fashion weeks in Brazil at the time. I received the camera a few hours before a fashion show. Now I alternate between this camera and mirrorless cameras in my current projects, depending on the result I'm looking for.

Where do you think your photographic style came from?

My style is made up of countless references, the biggest one being my personal development. I like to look inside, see what I've learned about myself and the world, and show that in the form of images to people.

The awareness that some people will never love me, no matter what I do, allows me to take more risks; to explore possibilities, materials, places, textures, angles; to use something different to create the right lighting for a photo shoot; using different materials to dress the models (or clients)... Being authentic allows me to have the support of those who are also authentic and who have healthy self-esteem.

Self-knowledge also allows me to understand that the beauty of art lies in being interpreted in different ways by people according to their level of self-knowledge and their repertoire. I have a narrative in my head when I develop a photography project or a work of art, and I am aware that many people will not interpret the images the way I imagined them. This double meaning is present in several of my works. Sometimes the same work can be interpreted in multiple different ways and what the person interprets tells me a lot about him/her. I think that is beautiful!

You said that you like the viewer to have their own interpretation of your work. Why do you think that is more important than anchoring a different message or context in the photograph?

I don't think it is more important. It is about my way of seeing things. Imposing my worldview on my audience is not always the best thing to do. There are works where I explain the story and meaning, guiding people to understand the work as I imagined it. Other works, usually more complex, I leave open to interpretation, or I only give a superficial clue about the subject. I usually do this with personal development issues, because the clues are enough to guide those who are on the path to self-knowledge, and more direct explanations would not be understandable to those who are not seeking self-knowledge. In some cases, I explain complex works based on my personal experiences.

I want to express my vision. The interpretation that each person gives of my art depends on several factors that are not under my control.

I do not hide, I have many opinions and values ​​that are different from many people and I am authentic. I do not impose my opinions and values ​​as absolute truths and I do not accept that other people try to impose their values ​​and beliefs in my life. If someone serves me a dish that I do not like, I try to eat what I like in that dish and leave the rest aside. People can choose to enjoy the beauty of my work without thinking about what I want to convey beyond the beauty of each image.

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Discover the patronage and sponsorship options on the "Maecenasship" page and support my artistic work.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧Ten reasons for companies to invest in annual sponsorship

Today I will present ten reasons why companies should invest in annual sponsorship of my work. I will talk about general reasons, but there are also reasons that depend on what the company sells and to whom, among other variables that interfere in well-designed marketing strategies. I can present these during a meeting with the company's leaders.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist who focuses on using photography to create unique works of art, and throughout my life I have developed several skills that are very interesting for companies that choose to be annual sponsors of my work.

1. I have a personal brand that values ​​authenticity, and I have cultivated this authentic image since I started using the internet in the late 90s. Over these two and a half decades I have evolved, matured and my image has evolved along with it.
2. Maturity and awareness of who I am and what I want attracts certain people (and companies) and drives others away. The profile of those who walk away is always the same. People who don't want to broaden their horizons and feel threatened by me addressing topics they don't want to think about (and, of course, companies whose leaders and/or people who manage social media have a similar mindset). Knowing this, and having studied advertising and marketing, I can give a very clear picture of how much I can contribute to the success of brands that want to support my work if these companies are clear and objective about who their target audience is.
3. I love seeking out new experiences and getting to know different products and services. Trying out new hobbies, developing new skills, tasting different dishes, visiting different destinations, different cultures, wearing clothes with unique designs, testing out new electronic devices, appliances, things that make life easier and give me more quality time with the people I love (including my pets) and more time to make art, etc. Of course, I've tried a lot of things and some of them I know I don't like. Others that I've tried I would be happy to repeat and share with the more than fifteen thousand people who follow my profiles on social media.
4. Authenticity is also present in my works of art. Innovation and boldness are expected in my projects, especially in projects that include photography, which are my main projects at the moment.
5. I also love exploring new ideas to create art.
6. My art and content are appreciated by people all over the world, and that's why sponsorships are ideal for companies that can and want to serve well beyond the geographic limits of the country where they are located, regardless of their size.
7. I have a degree in advertising and propaganda and have been an internet user since 1999, having tried several social networks, mIRC, and other online tools for interacting with people all over the world. I can create ways to promote sponsors, in addition to those described on the Maecenasship page, by promoting brands that offer financial support to my work in a more authentic way, and I can work together with the marketing teams of these brands without sacrificing the authenticity of the results.
8. In the months that I have published almost nothing in recent years (the worst scenario in terms of visibility), my content has been seen by at least one hundred thousand people. The goal of seeking annual sponsorships is to have the resources to work all year long and generate content regularly, expanding the reach of my content and my art. And this also generates benefits for the sponsors.
9. I know how to deal with criticism and situations that can generate negative impacts for the sponsoring brands in order to neutralise the negative impact.
10. Since my upcoming works feature many nature and landscape photos, these will be valuable opportunities for airlines, hotels, restaurants, dog and cat product companies, pet-friendly companies, fashion and beauty companies, among others, to promote their products as annual sponsors while supporting my work.

Read the "Maecenasship" page to learn more about annual sponsorship and request a meeting with me to get a personalised proposal.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 This artist’s forms of expression

Life is curious. I decided to study advertising because my ability to write good advertising scripts was recognised by a professional photographer from Rio, with whom I took a modeling course when I was 16 (and I didn't even want to be a model). And during college I realised I had several other talents, which were recognised by the teachers.

After that, I experimented, learned, and made these talents available to clients.

I have a certain attachment to this entire journey, because I'm proud of what I've built. Proud of who I have become. Proud of my repertoire and my personality.

Although the options remain open, my focus is art and the more I focus on art, the less I have to say here on the blog. Maybe I maintain other services just to have something to talk about here from time to time. I don't like talking about art. It's like explaining a joke. I create art with an idea, critique or reflection in mind. I prefer to leave the interpretation to each client. Sometimes I try to think of ways to balance this, but I'm respecting my pace.

I recommend that you follow my profiles on social media, mainly Instagram, Tiktok and YouTube, as I post about my artistic work on these three channels.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 About cruel things I've heard

I grew up living with my maternal grandmother. I was never praised by my mother's family, and even achievements that should be seen as positive were ignored. “You didn’t do more than you had to,” they said. And I heard almost every day that I was ugly, stupid and useless. To make it even cooler, the only celebrity who had features similar to me in that remote past was the Brazilian actress Cristina Pereira, and I didn't see anything beautiful about her. Possibly because I didn't see anything beautiful about myself after hearing so much that I was ugly. Looking today, I might think the actress Mayara Magri looked like me at the time. She was beautiful. But I didn't think I was beautiful, so I didn't see this similarity.

It's hard to single out a single cruel thing from my past. I think that bombarding a creative and initiative child with criticism is very cruel, but it is an attitude of weak people, who see girls as dolls. In fact, they dressed me as if I were a doll. To this day, I hate clothes full of ruffles and ribbons for that reason. I prefer a tomboy image than a doll image. My style flirts more with androgyny than with the image of a romantic girl. Even when I wear fluid and delicate dresses, I break the romanticism with heavy boots or other style resources. I don't identify 100% with female stereotypes. And I feel perfectly comfortable in a female body.

The treatment of boys was different. I played with them and realised their privileges. None of my brothers or my cousin worked when they were kids. I did. And that's the smallest of differences. They respected me while those who used to disrespect me were female figures. This way, I have an easier time cultivating male friendships. Women who embrace the role of fragile, crying dolls irritate me. After the long and painful healing process I went through, I became very intolerant of adult snowflakes, who are offended by anything, regardless of gender. Because they are the ones who cause immense damage to children's minds. And we should really take care of the well-being of children, who do not know how to defend themselves from the cruelty that can exist in their own families. Not taking care of adults who should already have the discernment to take care of their own mental health.

Once, when Fátima Bernardes was an anchor on JN, she had a very nice cut with short hair (possibly straight like mine). And I said that I would like to have hair like that. I hated my long hair, which was impossible to style because nothing could keep them styled for more than two hours. I spent an hour in the shower washing and untangling them. And they weren't even long like many wear today. They generally didn't go more than 15 or 20cm below the shoulders. And when I made that comment, my youngest aunt who was sitting nearby said the following kindly: “the only beautiful thing you have is your hair. If you cut it, what will be left?” 😁 Cute. Loving. Only not.

But stupid I knew I wasn't. I don't see how someone who gets good grades without cheating (and often without studying) could be stupid. And I ended up changing my self-image, which was negative for a long time due to this strong negative family influence, by noticing this gap, this little finger of lies that made the whole lie fall apart. And yet they continued with the lie.

I've been wearing short hair for over twenty years. I wore beautiful cuts and sometimes the hairdressers weren't able to do a good job. I tried countless colours. While common sense says that hair is a frame for your face, I made my hair my canvas to create art, just like I've done with my wardrobe since I was 18.

Nothing said to an adult by third parties is more cruel than a shower of criticism and zero praise for a child from their own family. But even this can be overcome. So, nowadays, when I see people saying that we can't say this and that to adults because it's offensive, when the term itself isn't offensive, I just see a person with whom I have no interest in getting acquainted with, because I don't see anyone standing up against parents and family members who bully their own children or who educate them based on threats and punishments. In Brazil, even lullabies have a content that incites fear. It's ridiculous.

I learned a lot throughout my life. I can contribute professionally to people who want to leave victimhood in the past. It's not often that I have the time or interest in helping others overcome barriers that I overcame on my own, but it eventually happens. Follow the services available on the services page and follow my profiles on social media if my journey inspires you. I recommend that you start by booking a photo session, which is always available.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 Demystifying ethical non-monogamous relationships and polyamory

This is a text to demystify ethical non-monogamous relationships, including polyamory. If you know a person who prefers ethical non-monogamous relationships or if you are a person who has this preference and cannot explain it to those who see themselves as monogamous due to lack of knowledge about other possibilities, read until the end, share and follow my profiles on social networks for more content. It is also useful as an introduction to the topic for people who know me, personally or virtually, and have no knowledge about ethical non-monogamous relationships.

I'm Nycka Nunes and on this blog and on my social media I talk about a variety of topics, generally related to personal development and broadening one's horizons.

People are used to thinking that we can only love one person at a time, and they think of love for a boyfriend or girlfriend as something essentially different from the love we feel for dear friends or family. And they see romantic relationships as a ladder or a series of steps. It is common for women to see marriage and children as life goals, but with each new generation such goals become more distant from the priorities of younger people, possibly due to the rigid and unnatural model of relationships in previous generations and because divorces are not a great inspiration. to marry. More information means more options and more informed decisions.

The way I see ethical non-monogamous relationships, including polyamory, and if you received the link to this text from someone, possibly they have a similar view to mine on the subject, is that love is equal, whether it is love for a boyfriend, a friend or a dear family member. In the case of romantic relationships, there is the addition of sexual attraction and compatibility, and any other criteria you have for dating someone.

Let's think about the issue of compatibility from other angles to make it clearer.

All of us, monogamous or not, have a variety of friends with different profiles. We have those friends who are great at accompanying us to shows of our favourite bands. And those with whom it's good to talk about books or films. We have those friends who console and advise us when we have problems in romantic relationships. And several other profiles. Trying to force friends to be great friends at all times is a waste of time because each person has their own strengths and limitations. Yes, we can have friends who are great for a variety of circumstances. But not all of them are like that and that doesn't diminish the value of any of them.

In romantic relationships, for those who live polyamory, we can also love different people simultaneously, because each person is unique and has different characteristics from the others. Each person has different qualities and different limitations, whether in the sexual field or outside of it. Although most people are “vanilla” (they have a certain sexual standard with a very limited repertoire of practices compared to the countless possibilities that exist), and this reduces the options for sexual differences, more due to lack of knowledge than by choice, still, the personal characteristics are different.

Even due to legal unfeasibility, because many countries only allow monogamous marriages, those seeking ethical non-monogamous relationships tend not to see the relationship as a sequence of steps. The relationship with each individual is a building towards getting to know each other better day by day, and this may or may not result in marriage or children.

If you analyse the phase of literary romanticism you will see that romantic love is not the most inspiring thing in the world. It's great that we can evolve, seek self-knowledge and develop healthier relationships.

Discover my services and follow my profiles on social media for more content.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 Expanding food repertoire

The process of discovering your identity can be long and, at times, a little scary, but it is fantastic. Getting to know yourself is a process that requires an effort to expand our repertoire instead of assuming that the repertoire we have when living with our family is enough. Today the example comes from my eating habits and how they changed over time. It's about how I expanded my food repertoire. The same process can be applied to other areas of life.

As a child I didn't usually eat vegetables. My lunch and dinner consisted of rice, beans, potatoes and meat. Sometimes I ate cauliflower. The food, both at my parents' house while they were married, and at my maternal grandmother's house, where I lived most of my childhood and adolescence, was ugly and bad. I have cared about beauty since childhood, so ugly food is not something that whets my appetite. As, besides being ugly, the flavour didn't help me like it, I ate it just so I wouldn't die of hunger. At my paternal grandmother's house the food was always very good and my grandma always made me feel comfortable, but there was no habit of consuming a lot of vegetables.

As a teenager, after my parents divorced, I started going to the farm less (my paternal grandmother's house) and decided to make desserts to lessen the suffering of only having the option of bad food.

But life started to get interesting from a food point of view only when I left my hometown. In Uberlândia, I learned to eat vegetables because I went to a Chinese restaurant close to the apartment where I lived. It was a buffet, so I could serve a little bit of whatever looked good. I started to really like yakisoba (and I started eating more too 😁). They used so much soy sauce that you couldn't distinguish the flavours of anything. Nowadays I prefer more moderate doses of soy sauce in yakisoba, as that was just the first step in getting used to vegetables.

Then I had the opportunity to try many things, including haute cuisine from renowned and very creative chefs. Haute cuisine enchants me because, unlike the Chinese food at that restaurant in Uberlândia, it is possible to identify different flavours, colours and textures in the same dish, and all of this has been carefully harmonised. This is seductive.

Expanding your repertoire and getting to know yourself means allowing yourself to experience what you have never experienced before, seeking to discover who you are beneath the shell of family and social influences. Of course this doesn't mean trying anything... you don't need to throw yourself off a cliff to see what it's like.

Expanding your repertoire is good because closed-minded people are generally unpleasant, immature and when they have children they cause immense trauma to them because they tend to use repression.

Follow my profiles on social media so you don't miss new content, and to interact more with me. Discover and hire my services. Sponsorships are also welcome.

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Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 The impact of childhood on adult communication

The way we communicate in our personal and professional relationships is, initially, closely linked to the way we communicated with our parents as children. A person who spent their childhood without the autonomy to give opinions, express feelings and make choices without the risk of punishment may have great difficulty positioning themselves in relationships, negotiating salaries, etc. And this is just one example of how the way your parents dealt with you affects your communication in adult life and can cause harm in all areas of your life. Certainly your parents did the best they could. Now it's up to you to correct where they failed you to provide yourself and your children with better opportunities and healthier relationships. Hire my services to develop your communication skills in all areas of life.

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Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 10 qualities you should value in relationships

In this text I present 10 qualities that you should value if you are interested in developing healthy relationships and having a healthier social circle that is conducive to personal development, from my point of view.

1. They act to avoid being dominated by their traumas and limiting beliefs. It can be through therapy, meditation, or other personal development tools. They don't let victimhood take over.
2. They practice self-knowledge. They identify their mental triggers and use this for their own development.
3. They avoid substances and situations that could negatively affect their relationship with their own mind. They realise that drugs, alcohol or anything else to try to escape reality does not contribute to their personal development.
4. They are reciprocal in relationships. They don't just want to receive. They are ready to support people in their close circles as much as those people support them.
5. They set limits, respect limits and try to communicate clearly.
6. They do not invalidate other people's feelings nor accept that they invalidate theirs.
7. They have well-defined goals and do not accept other people trying to divert them from these goals.
8. They are open to meeting different people, making new friends, listening to different opinions, and they know how to communicate without imposing their beliefs on others.
9. They enjoy their work and do not feel exploited or victims of the system because they make conscious choices.
10. They are aware of their own limitations and privileges. If someone doesn't consider themselves privileged in anything, they have a victimistic attitude that is not healthy to have around.

To have relationships like this, I recommend that you also develop these qualities. Discover my services and see how they can contribute to your personal development.

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Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 I’m an omnist. And you?

Yesterday I discovered that I am an omnist. I didn't even know there was a name for it. I don't usually look for labels to fit in. But it's an excuse to write a text about how I view religion.

I was born into a not very practicing Catholic family. My grandmother taught me to pray asking my guardian angel for protection. At some point the guardian angel stopped listening to me and I stopped seeing God as an all-powerful being. My best friend at school was evangelical and gave me a Bible to read. I started to notice differences between the two beliefs when I got to the part where they teach how to pray the “Our Father” (Lord’s prayer).

Since I was a child, I have been interested in mythologies from around the world, and mythologies are basically polytheistic religions.

When I was a teenager, I read a phrase from Buddha (Sidarta Gautama) which, along with the famous “know thyself”, by Socrates, became a guide for my life. When I was at the end of my higher education, I discovered the Buddhist lineage that I have practiced ever since.

In the more recent past, I read some works by Joseph Campbell and this greatly expanded my view of religions and I began to have more respect for the Catholic religion (which I had completely lost before), and for all others.

Therefore, I currently see religion as a tool for personal development. They all have some value, and they are all paths towards the same goal, which is to better understand life and ourselves. And none shows the full path. It is as if they teach us how to walk, and we must, from then on, take our own steps on the road to self-knowledge.

One last curiosity: I was born in a country where, until a few years ago, it was common to hear people saying that politics, religion and football cannot be discussed. Here I am, a communications coach, discussing religion. Discover and hire my services.

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Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 The importance of communication skills in building healthy relationships

Nowadays there is a lot of talk about toxic people, toxic relationships, and at the same time many people do not have the communication skills developed in a healthy way to build healthy relationships. Communication skills are very important in building healthy relationships.

Many of our skills are developed throughout life and the family plays an important role in the development of these skills, because once we learn wrong it can be more difficult to let go of our certainties and learn the right way. Communication skills are one of them. And it's not just about having a reasonable command of the language.

When parents are authoritarian they are denying their children the right to learn to communicate healthily and effectively with other people. It can be very comfortable for parents in childhood and adolescence, but if we think about the impact of this on the child and on society, it is a cruel and selfish choice. Especially if the parents, at some point, decide to ignore this completely unprepared child, simply because he turned 18 or finished college, for example.

I've said it in other texts and I'll say it again: parents must be people who support their children in the process of getting to know themselves. And this is only possible when they are genuinely curious to know their children's individuality and experience the process of self-knowledge, preferably being aware of how to identify their own traumas, limiting beliefs and triggers before having children.

Therefore, parents, before having children, must develop their own communication skills to be able to offer their children the conditions to communicate clearly, deal appropriately with their own emotions, and build healthy relationships throughout their lives, starting with the relationship between young children and their parents.

When your repertoire is limited and it seems like “everyone” does something the same way, that doesn’t mean that’s the best way.

Do you have the right tools to have effective and healthy communication?

Observing how you react in situations where “negative” emotions like fear, anxiety and frustration are in control can give you some clues about your communication skills. Your defence tools may be sabotaging this ability.

The way you start your romantic relationships and how you manage communication with your partner also says a lot about how much you may be neglecting this skill, which is crucial in building healthy relationships.

How you deal with making and maintaining friendships, your behaviour in the job selection process, your communication skills at work and in various other situations also say a lot about you and your communication skills.

Discover and hire my services to improve your communication. In adult life, correcting what your parents were not competent to teach in the best way is your obligation and communication skills are essential for life in society and for achieving success in everything. I'm here to contribute to your personal development.

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Nycka Nunes